"The story so far... The body of Doris Hazar's Pekingese, unwittingly asphyxiated beneath her husband's bottom during a middle aged spread do at the great house, after the ritual fortnight in the Rawlinson fridge has been given over to Old Scrotum, the wrinkled retainer, for indecent burial under Sir Henry's giant marrow. This monstrous jade zebra veg is the master's puffed pride, and by his stern instruction the greedy gourd is drip fed with a powerful laxative, thus 'should some rascal half inch the blessed thing and eat it, it'll give him the licorice for weeks'. Now think aught..."
Vivian Stanchell Sir Henry at Rawlinson's End
We're trying to eat ours up before they turn into zuccas.